So why doesnt OQ update now unless I have Auto Join Oqgeneral channel selected?
Hard to see guild chat and such with all OQ chat going on

Because you need to be connected to other users to recieve group information. 

one of two ways to become connected is through oq general on your realm.

If for some reason your og general is displayed (by default it should not be), then this tutorial may help you disable it:



The part in which you are concerned begins at the 2:00 minute mark.